We've all seen those Snickers, "You're Not You" commercials. We all chuckle and realize that we all suffer remotely from that particular personality flaw.
Unfortunately for me, I don't just suffer slightly from this, I (to put it nicely) transform. I become a raging beast...OK, so maybe not raging all the time.
I'll give you my symptoms:
-Extra sensitive to any sensory stimulation (loud noise, being touched, any sort of remotely antagonistic vocal tone....will set me off)
-I lose any sense of humour
-I am extremely irritable and prone to complaining
-Eat in front of me....and DIE
-My eyes start to bug out
-I start hunching over and pulling "the turtle" (You'll know it when you see it)
-My eyes start shooting fire
-Smoke starts pouring out of my ears and nose
-Basically, I look something like this:
OK, so I don't really. Regardless, let's just say, if you notice ANY of the above behavior...wisely keep your distance until I have some food in me.
Poor Chica. For this tale, you'll need a little back information for this to make sense. Since Friday, I've eaten nothing but meat, fish and oat bran. Let's just say, that doesn't sit well with me....I am INSANELY hungry. But this is "healthy" for you, so I'm doing it. Today is the last day, praise God! At this point, I have reached a place where I am literally a growling, howling, grumbling, inhuman monster. So as I'm making some Oat Bran muffins...Chica comes up and starts chomping Doritos and chocolate in my ear. I asked her to leave multiple times, I asked her to go get me some eggs, but to no avail. The poor senseless fool refused to leave the room. I won't go into the gory details...but...it didn't end well.
Let's just say, YOU ALL HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!!
Francesca is fine now, she's learned her lesson (we hope anyway) and will recover from the horror a few years down the road with the help of some intense psychiatric help. (Ha ha. Totally kidding!)
Anyway, I have some delicious cinnamon oat bran muffins to enjoy.
Peace!

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