Rest In Peace

What is there to be said about grief and loss?  It has me going between absolute numbness and uncontrollable sadness.  Who am I to even grieve to the extent that I am grieving?  I think about her family and I can't even fathom the depths of their grief and loss.

The loss of a child.  A sister.  A close friend.

What can anyone say about that?

People can say, "I'm sorry" all they want...but it doesn't really help.  Everyone offers to be there if you want to talk, but what is there to say about death?

I am not sorry for Anna.  For the first time, maybe in her entire life, she is no longer in pain.  I have no doubt that she is in heaven, in the arms of our savior.  She suffered more than any person should have to suffer.  I don't know if I ever truly appreciated the pain and daily struggles she had to endure.

No, I'm not sorry for Anna.  She is where I want to be.  She's gone home.

When I cry, I'm crying for the rest of us.  I cry for her family.  I cry for her friends.  I cry for my older sister who lost one of the truest friends a person could ever ask for.

When I think of Anna...I think of books.  No one I know loved books quite like she did.  Anna, I will always appreciate how you never looked down on me or treated me like a little kid (though you are 4 years older).  You would laugh at the stupid things that I do all the time, but it was never cruel and it never made me feel bad.

I remember camping out with several families...I don't even know how old I was...and all of the older kids went fishing.  Personally, I never had the patience, but I wanted to be one of the "big kids."  I remember how you helped me when I found a catfish caught on a fishline.  You helped me pull it in and then let me take the credit for a "catch" which I had NO business taking credit for.

I remember a few summers ago when we dressed up in prom dresses with Meg, Abbie, and Shannon and went on an "adventure," strolling up Tepeyac and down Sutton road in the middle of the night...just because we could!

I remember spending hours perusing your library and taking your suggestions for a "must read."

I remember the first time I ever watched The Phantom Of The Opera (now my favorite musical).  You warned me before the Phantom lost his mask because you knew how squeamish I was.

You were always so thoughtful and funny and just fun to be around.

I don't think it's possible to forget your laugh or your smile.

You have touched so many lives in your short life.  I don't know that I ever heard you complain about your discomfort.  Obviously you're human and I'm sure there were times you resented your disease...but you always seemed so strong to me.  Your disease destroyed your body far more than mine have, yet I'm the one you can hear complaining and whining.  Anna, if you could give me an ounce of your strength and perseverance, I think I'd be set for life.

I think I speak for all of us when I say Tepeyac Hill Dr. and the whole world won't ever be the same without your stunning smile and quiet, musical-loving, book-obsessed, goofy self.

Anna DiPirro

August 19, 1991-January 17, 2014

Rest In Peace

❤❤❤

Blood Caffeine Content--OVERLOAD

If there were a legal limit for caffeine similar to that for blood alcohol content....I'd be in deep trouble.  I am caffeinated past what I should be allowed.  I have the whole shaky, jittery, bubbly, explode-y feeling going on right now.  The worst part is.....I am in a public place.  More specifically...A COFFEE SHOP.  This is good and bad.

Pros:

• I have ready access to more caffeine.
• I'm a regular here, so I'm restraining myself from doing anything stupid.
• I have free WiFi.
• I can people watch.
• I can be out of the house for a little while.
• I have fast internet.

Cons:

• I have ready access to more caffeine.
• I can't do anything spastic.
• I have no earbuds and therefore cannot listen to music.
• I can't wear sweatpants.

AND THE PROS WIN OUT 6-4!!!!  WHOOP WHOOP!!!!

First of all, you may be wondering why I'm at a coffee shop for no good reason instead of at home in my sweatpants looking like a homeless druggy....and if you're not wondering, I don't care, I'm going to tell you anyway.

You see, I have this little problem.  I live in The Middle Of Freaking Nowhere and I have Internet That Needs To Be Left 6 Feet Under With A Blank Tombstone.  It's that bad.  I mean...really, REALLY bad.  ANYWAY...my dearest, darling sister Bella is taking online classes and because Michigan decided to drizzle on us, our DEAR DARLING FREAKING PIECE OF POOP WIFI decided to go PFLLLTTTTT and not work.  So, with Bella already a half an hour late for her hour long class, what is there to do but jump in Bessie and speed on over to Sweetwaters? AbsoFREAKINGlutely nothing.  So, here I am, jumping and jazzing and shaking and spazzing while I wait for B to finish up her class.

Do I mind? Nah.  Not really.  This place is my crib and I'm definitely going to miss popping over here all the time once I LEAVE FOR SCHOOL!!!! (FYI, T-4 Days, BABY!!!!!!) Not that I'm excited or anything (AHEM).

Do I expect people to come visit me while I'm school bearing gifts of companionship and free food?  Why yes, yes I do.  If you have my number, hit me up and pick me up and pay for a meal.  My repayment??  Good humor and my fabulous company.  Sounds tempting, no???

Anyhootnhollah, I'm gonna sign off now.

PEASABI!!

Meaningless Count Down

What's happening, world????

10: The number of days until I move into my dorm.

9: The number of hours until I get to close up at work and get my butt out of there.

8: The number of days I have left to pack up my life up  before my family goes on a camping trip.

7: The number of days I have left with some of my best friends before THEY move into their schools.

6: The number (in hours) of sleep I got last night.

5:  The number of days until one of my best friends goes off to New York for a week.

4: The percentage left to be charged on my phone before it's 100% charged.

3: The number of days I have "free" this week.

2: The number of shifts I will have a month once school starts.

1:  The amount of time in hours before I have to get ready for work.

0: The amount of money I have to spend on food once school starts.

Well, there you are, random facts that are completely useless and in no way meaningful.  OK, so some of them are sadly relevant. But details, details!!

Have a good one!

Peace

Duly Noted Shame

Here I am.  A relatively attractive, fun-loving, respectably social 18 year old girl.  On the cusp of beginning her college career.  It's a Saturday night.  I've already attended church (thus fulfilling my Sunday obligation).  I have an entire house to myself for the weekend.  Before me, I have a world of exhilarating possibilities at my fingertips.

However, world of possibilities and all, I am choosing to simply use what is accessible THROUGH my fingertips.  What am I doing with my Saturday night?  Easy.  Alternately watching the entire Harry Potter series and listening to my Spotify.  And blogging.  Obviously.

What's so wrong with my Spotify playlists?!  Well, if you ask me, nothing.  I think it should be perfectly acceptable to flip from Nat King Cole to Coldplay to JayZ to Damien Rice to (ok, yes) One Direction to Blink 182.  Apparently, however, this is weird.  Personally, I think it suits my ADD music listening tendencies.

Anyway, this is how I spend my Saturday nights.  Sometimes it's what you need after being so busy you don't have time to stop and think.  If that means overly tweeting....so be it.  I don't care.  Judge me.  I am enjoying myself THOROUGHLY.

Is this the second night in a row (on the weekend) I've canceled plans in order to come and do something less intensive (i.e. tweet and watch movies at home)?  Yes.  Yes, it is.  Will I whine about how lonely I am?  Yes.  Yes, I will.  Here's the thing, it's not that I choose to come home because I'm anti-social.  In fact, do I wish people would come over and hang out?  Yes.  Yes, I would.  But therein lies the issue.  I've been gone from home so much lately, I just would prefer people to come to me right now.  Apparently you can't bribe your friends to come over.  I guess it doesn't work like that in the real world?  I don't know.

Alright.  Now I'm just rambling.  I'm so tired I can't see straight.

Am I planning on going to bed at 11:30 on a weekend night?  Why yes, yes I am.

My shameful, antisocial tendencies?  Duly noted.

Peace Out!

Flip-Flop-Fail

In theory, my "short story" thing was a great idea.  But my first story flopped because I couldn't get it in the perspective I wanted.  And the second story is coming along decently well, but then I realized that most of my audience wouldn't appreciate the humor in it due to your ages.  Which is fine.  I guess you just have to deal with the usual nonsense then, I suppose! ;-)

Your first question may be, "Why are you awake and blogging at 1 AM in the morning?"
Well, because a) I don't feel like sleeping and b) I'm getting my wisdom teeth out tomorrow and therefore will probably be sleeping most of the day so why not enjoy being awake now?  Besides, I'm listening to some stellar music.

Your second question may be, "Why haven't you blogged in so long?  Why have you deserted us?"  Well, I am a busy bee.  I was working about 40 hours a week, now I only work about 24, so I have a bit of spare time on my hands.  I also realize that yes, that was two questions, not one.  But for the sake of convenience, I've decided that those count as only one question.  Deal with it.

Your third question may be, "WHY ARE YOU PUTTING WORDS INTO OUR MOUTHS?! WHAT IF WE'RE NOT ASKING THESE QUESTIONS AND DON'T EVEN CARE?!"
Well, a) because I have that kind of power on here, b) it's intriguing, c) I KNOW that that was way more than just one question, but you're seriously going to have to chill out and keep reading.  Or don't.  I'm not forcing you to read my random ramblings and seriously entertaining self.

Now, moving along, I would just like to say that being a barista can be problematic with someone of my social capabilities.  When you're socially awkward it becomes huge problem in terms of making tips.  Of course, being in a poor location creates issues for tipping as well, but I won't get into that tonight.  If you're wondering how my ADD got me here it's partly because I re-read this post and partly because I reflected briefly and scarring-ly on today.  My, my, the talent I possess for being a dweeb.  It's revolutionary. It's legend-WaitForIt-dary!

OK, I'm done.  Enjoy your wisdom teeth while you still can.  Enjoy your undrugged states until someday you, too, require a surgery or procedure of some kind and have to survive in a semi-consciousness for a good 24 hours.

Also, I recommend NOT planning a bonfire for the night after you get a procedure like this.  Oh, and DON'T stay up late and if you do, please don't text people.  Ish gets WEIRD, ok?!

Peace!

If You Would Be So Kind...

So I am finally home from Honduras, which was quite exciting.  I would talk about it, but I really would rather not sound like I'm bragging, besides, I have this kind of crazy idea.

If this fails, tell me so now.  That actually was a lie.  Give me a few more moments of your time, if you please.

I've been writing bits and scraps of short stories and I'm going to post one soon.  If you all enjoy it, I may post a few more every now and again.  So, if you would be so kind, your feedback and thoughts on this would be much appreciated.

In other news, I am contemplating the possibility of moving to Honduras for a couple of months next summer.  Considering the fact that I have family there and there is countless opportunities for volunteering in medical facilities, not to mention the fact that sometimes you just need to go and try something new before you're tied down with job and family.

Anyway, I'd say that's sufficient for the time being...the story to come soon! ;-)

Peace!

Truly Scrumptious

It's official, I'm scrumptious.  Mary over at The Fraying Scarf nominated this blog as "Scrumptious"!!  What I'm supposed to do at this point is nominate other blogs, but a) I don't really follow other blogs and b) I leave at 3:45 AM tomorrow to go to Honduras!  So, I will answer Mary's questions and thank her from the bottom of my heart for the nomination, but that's all I will be able to manage for the time being!

1) What makes you nervous the most?  Oh, gosh!  I guess either heights or being forced into situations where I have absolutely no idea what to expect.
2) If you could travel anywhere in the world to eat a certain kind of food, where would it be and what would you eat? Oh. My.  Gosh.  France.  And I would want to eat all sorts of breads and cheeses and fondues.  Mm-Mm.
3) What do you want to learn about a person when you first meet? What sort of things they're interested, whether or not they're out-going/crazy or more shy, umm and I'm sure there's more but I've never really thought about it before I guess!
4) What is your most commonly-crossed pet-peeve? Messes.  Messes, messes, messes.   I guess I should expect it, what with 7 siblings...but my word!!!!  Also people who don't keep their word or are untimely or inconsiderate!!  OK...so I have a lot of common-place pet-peeves!
5) How do you wear your hair on a daily basis? In a braid or a bun. (Curly hair problems...)
6) What day of the week do you most look forward to? Why? Friday.  I work weekends a lot, so it's not because I finally get a break...I guess Fridays just have a flair of excitement that makes me giddy.  
7) What do you consider your most unique feature? My sister says my weirdness or my eyeballs...but I guess I would say my eyes (they're yellow sometimes, OK? That's pretty fricken nuts) or my hair.
8) What is your favorite drink? Vanilla milkshakes...gentlemen, the way to my heart?  Milkshakes.  Mm-mm, GOOD! ;-)
9) What do you do to cheer yourself up after a bad day? I listen to music, read a good book, take a nap, and read Psalms.
10) What is the most embarrassing piece of clothing you currently own? Oh gosh, so many to choose from...

ANY hoot'n'holla', that is enough for one night, I'm going to, once again, appreciate that feeling of scrumptiousness and attempt to get some sleep in before I go to HONDURAS! :D :D :D :D :D

Peace Out!

The Enemy Has Infiltrated

When there are 60 (or so) people infiltrating your place of peace and rest (and by that, I mean ones home, obviously) and there is nowhere to hide, nowhere you can blast your odd music, nowhere you can sing and not be judged....well, let.me.tell.you...IT'S ENOUGH TO DRIVE YOU MAD!

You see, there are auditions for the plays my mother will be directing this upcoming school year (Sense & Sensibility and An Ideal Husband) are today.  And you see, I don't like this very much.  At all, actually.

There is nowhere I can go where I won't be shushed.  Nowhere I can go that I can escape the giggles of all these younglings (and by that I mean high schoolers).  Nowhere I can go to hide from the ugly, green monster.

Yes, yes I am jealous.  I can't believe I can't be in these plays anymore!!!!!!!!!

Also, I'm just irked that I can't walk anywhere without tripping over people.

Also, I am caffeinated and exhausted.  Ugly combo.

I may go hide at the library.  This however, wouldn't last long as my curiosity would win out in the end.

Honestly, the only reason I am continuing to type these words right now is to stop me from bursting into song...namely, "WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO, GOT TO DO WITH ET!!!!" Careful when you click on that link, I'm not actually positive that that is the song I have stuck in my head...I can't actually click on it to listen to it myself...but it's Tina Turner sooo how can you go wrong, right? Heh heh-heh.

Anyway, I hope y'alls days are slightly less ksajdgflasjdfgkjahsfg than mine! ;-)

PEACE!!!! (<--Deep Man Voice)

I Blame Caffeine

I would like to clarify, I am not addicted to caffeine.  In fact, I can go without my coffee and function on an average level and be pleasant enough, thank you very much.

HOWEVER, you will find that WITH coffee, my natural tendency to be happy-go-lucky, cheerful, optimistic, and friendly become somewhat...magnified.

I suddenly am overwhelmed with desires to do crazy, creative things.  Today's newest brainstorm is to open a Gluten Free restaurant among other things.  Essentially, I've decided that if my career in Nursing doesn't pan out, I'm going to change my degree to a Business/Culinary one and yada-yada-yada.  Anyway, it's brilliant.  You wouldn't understand.

I've also decided I'm going to do some extensive work to make sure my application to EMU's Nursing program is undeniably fabulous.

In addition, in July, I'm considering switching Coffee Shops...nothing personal, Biggby..I just have some big plans here and you're not complying.

OH!  AND I started that blog I was talking about starting....and by "started" I mean, I set up the template...I just have yet to, uh, POST anything...but details, details...I'll get started on that today.  Check it out sometime: The Way The Cookie Crumbles.  May I just add, however, that it's going to have a much different feel and will be more focused on my diseases, eventually college, and just life and less of a Beavis and Butthead feel.

Wow.  OK.  Case in point, I become Hammy with a mission on caffeine.  It's truly entertaining, I assure you.

Peace!

The Return of the Freak

I'M ALIVE!   I've been pretty absent lately.  I mean, well, you know...life happens.

Basically, I'm dying of an incurable disease called, "exhaustion."  It's also known as: Overworked, Overwhelmed, and Emotional Constipation.....it's a pretty broad disease covering any number of issues and varies person-to-person, which is why most people just refer to it simply as, "exhaustion."  It's general enough that it can cover all of your bases with just a simple, easy to understand word.  Not even that hard to pronounce either!!

Unfortunately for me, at this point, caffeine is only doing SO much and it's a short-term cure only, with positive side-affects only lasting for a few hours at a time.  Honestly, it's enough to make you want to move to change your name, pack your bags, escape to a tropical island and sip on alcoholic beverages and make sure people forget about your existence.

Ahhhh if only I were independently wealthy...or won the lottery...the things I could do.

Oh well, I'll get over it with about a month straight of sleep and quite possibly some heavy doses of medication (morphine?  Vicodin?  The options are endless....)

I do hope you all are enjoying your Memorial Day.  Which, by the way, is COMPLETELY misconceived by the general public!  This is enough of an issue that I must insist on taking a moment to clarify the matter for all you idiots....MEMORIAL DAY IS NOT Veterans Day.  OK?  It is commemorating all those who have passed on before us WITH a slight focus on those military heroes who have died for our freedom.  I'm just saying, please remember others as well.

Also, something coming up in the future...sometime in the next little while, I am  going to start another blog.  I will continue to update this one and it will continue to be me poking fun at my life! ;-) But my other one will be a bit more serious focusing on my Diabetes, Celiac, College, Work, and Life Lessons ;-) Knowing me, it probably won't be all that serious, but I can always hope, right??  Anyway, if you have any suggestions for Blog Titles, let me know.

Peace!