14! 14!!!!!!

Well, I noticed something dreadful....I HAVE (eerrrr HAD) 13 posts in May! This is unacceptable! See, I have issues with the number 13...not for the commonplace reasoning that "13 is unlucky" (although, weirdly enough, I had a lot of crummy luck on Friday the 13th...just saying) But because I don't like that number. Uh-uh, no way.

So, now I have fixed the problem...14 posts! Yippeee! I really like the number 8..and 15 and 25...and almost any number that ends in 5 (except for 35...that's an ugly number). I also like 10 and 20. And 50. I like a lot of numbers actually...I just HATE 13.

Say what you will, but I do NOT have problems. I don't. But everyone has a queer dislike for some random thing or another!

Be good. Be chill. And avoid 13's whenever possible.

Peace Out,

Not OCD either....(although, if you want it to be alphabetical...it should be CDO...)

Introducing....A-Fod...Jr.

Everyone knows of Alexander Emmanuel "Alex" Rodriguez (born July 27, 1975). And if you don't...oh my GOSH! Get out from under that rock you're living under and go look him up on wikipedia already!

Now, I will share one useless piece of information with you. He is popularly known as A-Rod (NOW do you know who he is?! No? Ok. You fail at life.) Now, some of you may or may not have noticed that this post says that it was written by A-FodJr. I will 'splain.

See, my parents are weird. As are their friends. So I guess a few summers ago, they came up with the nickname "A-Fod" for my dad. Which might not make sense unless you know what his name is...which you don't and won't.

And see, my first name is Alex (Yes, Alex is a girl's name...hushup). And since my dad is A-Fod...and I'm his kid...and lots of other meaningless things. I am therefore "A-Fod Jr." Ta da!

If this meaningless post makes no sense to you...don't sweat it...I had no idea where I was going with this when I started. Sooo la-dee-da. Sucks for you.

Be good. Eat candy. Watch some baseball now and again.

Peace Out,

A-Fod Jr.

Music

The problem with most songs is that their artists seem to know exactly what I do (or...don't) want to hear. And then they play it on the radio. (Or show up on my sister's iPod unexpectedly).

Unfortunately, the past week has been a pile of my retard dog's stinky crap on my carpet. Yeah, not pretty. And then when I try to clean it up. I make it worse....it's just been one of those weeks. You know the kind. The UNMENTIONABLE kind. Ugly, ugly, ugly.

Anywho, when you're having a doggy-poo week, the music that starts randomly popping up is not necessarily fun to listen to.

Well, as bad as it seems, I'm sure it's not that bad and I WILL SURVIVE. Even with the weird music I'm listening to...I don't even know who Jack Johnson is....hmmm...oh well.

Be good. Get some sleep. And enjoy the rain.

Peace Out,

Music is my life

My Dear, Darling Red Wings

My dear Red Wings:

You almost made me have heart failure by waiting till the 3rd period to score!!!! Oh, but then you let the San Jose LOSERS score first! I thank you for the permanent damage you've done to my heart! But then, Helm, a man after my own heart, tied it up. Zetterburg, thank you for putting us ahead! And dear, dear Filppulla...thank you for putting extra distance so that my heart was able to slow down a little. Boys, even if you lose the next game (which is on Thursday and I KNOW you won't...) I'm proud of you for coming back like that. You guys amaze me. And I love you...a lot. So please win again! For me?

Be good. Watch some Red Wings hockey. And win.

Peace Out,

A Big Fan

My Poor Fishies

So, as you may (or may not) know...at the bottom of the page...there are fishies. And you can feed these fishies. And they are MY fishies. But see, I have a friend who HATES fishies. And now...she's disowning me...and I feel sad. Now, my other friend WARNED me that little Miss Fishie Drownder would be mad at me for adding these fishies to my blog (as you can not kill my fishies). But I refused to listen. Because I like my fishies. In fact...all 10 have names. I just don't know any of their names. :( So, I hope the rest of you appreciate my fishies....because I love them all.

Be good. Eat ice cream. And love fish.

Peace Out,
Cat Chucker

Shleepppyyy

I'm really tired. My thoughts are more scatterered than pretty much anything. And um yeah. La la la la la. From now on...I should probably go to bed before 5 AM. BUT IT WAS A PARTY!!!I mean...I HAD to stay up late...well, plus, I was kinda sick. My blood sugar levels were all over the place...and I'm 90% sure I was dying. But look!!!! I liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiveeeeeee! (Hold the applause...I'm too tired to handle noise at the moment)

La la la.

Boredom is a curse. Exhaustion is disastrous. And me on energy drinks is a biiiiiiig mistake.

OH MY GOSH! I LOVE MORT! AND MELMAN! I think I should watch Madagascar. Ahhh. But I can't. I'm watching myself in a play. YIPPEEE!

Be good. Partay it up. And get lots of sleep at one point or another.

Peace Out,

YAWNN

Cute'n'Cuddly

You want cute and cuddly?? *Here's what to do:

1) Say (as sweetly as possible...or in an English accent, which ever you prefer): "Mother...I believe I need a baby sister!"

2) Then, make sure you fill out a personality form (MUST be adorable, sweet, loving, cuddly, etc. etc.) and mail it to God. (Snail mail only please.)

3) Once said baby sister is born...wait a couple of years. Two is a GREAT age for cuddling. And cute? Doesn't even cover it. Neither does adorable come to think of it...

4) When the child reaches approximately two years of age make sure you wake up at an appropriate time (i.e. BEFORE noon!)

5) Come down a little groggy

6) Make sure your mother is holding the precious bundle of cuteness

7) Reach out your arms and be prepared to feel indescribably happy as the small little girl lays her head on your shoulder and smothers you with kisses.

This, my friends, is called The Ultimate Cuddle and can be found nowhere else. Make sure you appreciate it while you can.

Be good. Eat cake. And cuddle, cuddle, cuddle!

Peace Out,

Yeah, that's right.

*Note: This theory is unstable at best and has little to no research to back it up. If results are not as advertised, Beautiful Disaster can not be held liable. Your transaction was probably just got messed up along the way because you are not as awesome as I am. No hard feelings.

"No" and "Mine" part 2

If you remember, in March, I talked about my distaste for the words "no" and "mine."

My dear friends...I have fallen far. You see, on Wednesday...a dear friend of mine gave me a bar of chocolate (THANK YOUUU!!!). And yesterday, as I was enjoying the deliciousness of said chocolate...my poor, innocent little sister (...wait...she's my little sister....of course she's not innocent...) came up and asked me, oh-so-sweetly/dramatically: "Please! May I have a piece of that amazing looking chocolate?!?!??!" But, the problem is--when it comes to chocolate--I am unforgivably selfish. My response is depresificatably predictable. "NO! WHY?! BECAUSE....IT'S MINEE!!!!" Oh yes, my friends....I went there. I am throughly ashamed of my behavior.

I have this problem (some prigs might call it a DISEASE!). Unless I care deeply for someone...I WILL NOT share my food with them. Please do not assume that I do not care deeply for my crazed little sister...I do...immensely!

But....but...in my defense....it was chocolate!!! Do you not understand this moral dilemma?!?! I was, as the saying goes, between a rock and a hard place. And unfortunately for my already guilty conscience....the same thoughtful friend who brought me chocolate the first time, brought me more yesterday. Do not misunderstand me...I am most grateful...chocolate is the essence of awesome! Well, I will leave you to ponder this...I certainly don't know whether to feel guilty or appeased. I'm sure I will survive regardless.

Be good. Eat chocolate. And at least consider sharing a square of it or something!

Peace Out,

Choco-holic!

Big Sisters

"If you don't understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child." ~Linda Sunshine

I think this Linda Sunshine person has been stalking me. Seriously. I mean, if you knew my sister... Most of the time, she is the most amazing person ever. She's there for me. And it's just...incredible. But SOMETIMES I wonder...maybe it's one of those multiple personality issues? I'm just kidding. But yeah, if you have a sister (older OR younger) You know what I mean!

TG, sometimes, you drive me up a freaking wall. You are always making oh-so-helpful comments that just make me wanna pound you with a hammer. But at the end of the day (at the bottom of the barrel ;p) you're my biffle, and when you leave for college...I'm gonna miss you like crazy. Don't forget about me, k?

Love you lots!!

Peace out,

Lil Sis

National Star Wars Day

May the 4th be with you.

I'm not exthactly thure if thith ith a real holiday, but I will treat it ath thuch. Now, I feel that it ith nethithary to thpeak with a lithp. I mean, c'mon. It'th nethithary! I don't think I need to exthplain mythelf to you people! Let'th not get grumpy now and thay thilly thingth like, "YOU ARE THUTPID! THTOP THPEAKING LIKE THAT!" Let'th jutht not do that. Becauth, you know what I would thay to you? I would thay, " YOU IDIOT! I MUTHT! NOW LEAVE ME ALONE! YOU ARE THERTIFIABLY A NINCOMPOOP!"

And in the wordth of one of my favorititht villainth, from Night At The Mutheum 2, I bring you...

Kah Mun Rah: "YOU DID ALL THREE! YOU THPOKE AND YOU REACHED YOUR HAND ACROTH!"

Now I realithe that latht quote had abtholutely nothing to do with anything, but I felt it wath alright to add it becauthe he hath a lithp! I love you, Kah Mun Rah....you are my hero.

Be good. Thoroughly enjoy the 4th (forthe?). And don't eat tuna for breakfatht.

Thith ith all.

Peathe Out,

I Got Da Powa'

Gray...HAIR?!?!?!?!?!?!

The last words ANY 16 year old girl wants to hear are: "You're pregnant." The other words they don't want to hear is: "Hey...hey look at this! OH MY GOSH! IT'S A GRAY HAIR!!!!" WHAAAAA------?!?!?!?! No. Yes, APPARENTLY. According my mother, I am graying at age 16. She found THREE of them. THREE!!!!!!!!!!!! I refuse to believe that I am actually graying. Instead, I will claim that I had three demented hair follicles.

My parents find my terror at the alleged gray hairs amusing. I find such lies terrifying...according to my dad....my uncle started balding at age 16!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And apparently graying at a young age runs in the family!!! But I know I'm not. And if I WAS (which I most definitely am NOT), I know where to buy dye. I will cheat you out of your evil pleasure, little gray hairs! I WILL WIN!

Be good. Have fun. And pull every gray hair out of your head!!! (that is, if you are under the age of 40...)

Peace out,

Most definitely NOT graying!!!

patience, Patience, PATIENCE!

"Patience is the greatest of all virtues."

Yes, yes. I'm sure you're thinking, "Shut up, please, I've heard that a million times." Yeah, yeah. SO HAVE I!!!!!!! So now, I need you to remain PATIENT while I continue, capisci? Capisci.

It is probably needless to say, but I am very impatient. To the max. I prefer to rush headlong into things...often times making a mess of everything (which is why my mother has fondly dubbed me a "bull in a china shop"...when I was younger, I thought she was saying a "bowl in a china shop" and was throughly confused...but that's another story!) Anyway, lately, I've been slowly learning how much being patient pays off. Now, the wait....is just brutal!! Sometimes you can't handle it and you end up bouncing around like you have ants in your pants...which is really amusing to watch, but miserable to endure! Patience is something you have to work at...let me tell ya! But once whatever you were patiently waiting for arrives...you realize that time flew! Plus...it's a zillion more times enjoyable! :D

Well, enough of that heavy stuff! I can only handle so much of it! ;)

Be good. Be patient. Be wise. And DO. NOT. DIE!!!

Peace Out,

Patiently Waiting For Tomorrow

May and My 6-Week Plan

MAY=INSANITY!!!!!! This week is tech week for my play. (AHHHHH!!!!!!!) Then, my dad's going to be out of town for the next week. THEN Friday the 13th, my big sister graduates. Then the next weekend, I'm off to Rhode Island for my dad's cousin's wedding. Theeeen, the weekend after that, it's my sister's graduation party. Then (THANK GOD) May ends!

Alright, now on to the "6-week plan" part of this post. Ahem. So, the next six weeks are going to be a weird mix of healthy eating (are you freaking serious?!), exercising anddd prayer. These things all go hand and hand and hopefully will end in success. Unfortunately, the whole "healthy eating" thing includes "minimizing sugar intake" Which is failing miserably beCAUSE, I am diabetic. And lately, my blood sugar has been hitting crazy lows. So yeah, that means lots of extra sugar for me! XD Poor six-week plan...only 3 days old and already failing miserably.

Eat sugar. Be chill. And don't let crazy people get to ya.

Peace Out,

Happily Sugar-ated