True story, non-believers. MOM'S ARE SUPERHEROES! They may pretend to be hard-working, boring and all that nonsense...but in reality, THEY'RE MORE THAN JUST THAT! You see, the attractive, female half of your parental unit is quite brilliant in her cover. But let me share a few of the secrets mothers try so hard to hide.
SUPER SONIC HEARING: Ever wondered how your mother hears you grumbling and whining and winging from all the way across the room? THIS IS WHY!!!! Every single murmur of discontent which was SUPPOSED to go undetected? Don't release your feelings in such a manner any more.
SELECTIVE HEARING: "Mom...Mom!....MOOOOM!!!!!!............Mrs. [Insert Your Last Name Here]!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!......[Insert Her First Name Here]!!!!!!!!!!" "What?!" Yeah, that's happened to all of us at one point or another and you know it. This keeps your mother from being annoyed and irritated by all the unimportant things you have to say. They mentally and SUBCONSCIOUSLY block you out when they don't care!!!!!
HYBRID SUPER X-RAY VISION: You know how you can be in the kitchen sneaking the last cookie out of the cookie jar and your mom (who is sitting in the other room reading a book or checking her e-mail, is clearly distracted and cannot hear your absolute stealthy maneuvers...although, her Super Sonic Hearing MAY OR MAY NOT come into play at this point...) yells over: "Honey, leave those cookies alone!" HOW COULD SHE KNOW THIS?!?!?!?! Clearly, she looked over and used her X-ray vision to see through the wall.
There are many other super powers possessed by mothers, perhaps some day I will share them with you all. But for now, I must return to my homework so that my mother does not nail me for avoiding school.
As you can see, that mothers possess super-powers is the only logical explanation to explain their prowess in life.
Are you a non-mother?? Well, girls, your time will come. Boys, SUCKS FOR YOU!!!!!!!
*ALL OF THIS INFORMATION IS 100% TRUE AND BACKED UP BY HIGHLY AUTHORIZED SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH
Be good. Beware a mother's super-powers. Appreciate yo momma...give her awesome highness a hug today...she'll love it!
Peace Out,
Future Superhero
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
RA RA RA!!!
So pretty much, my older sister is this weird, spastic human being.
For example, when she is extremely hyper/angry/happy/speechless, she will do this weird thing where she'll suddenly start yelling,
"RA! RA! RA!"
(Fyi, the "r's" are rolled, for those of you who care!)
No one knows why, she's just odd in the head....which is of course why we love her oh-so-very much.
Today, is one of those "RA! RA! RA!" days for me. Lemme 'splain:
If you:
a) Drink coffee
b) Get an adrenaline rush because you've been waiting FOR FOREVER (ok, 10 minutes? Maybe? Max?) for a phonecall
c) Are going to see Les Miserables PROFESSIONALLY DONE ON STAGE for the first time EVER on stage
d) Have spring fever
Welllll then, YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT IN THE WORLD TO HAVE A "RAAAA!!!" day! I approve it.
Be good. Enjoy the "RA!" days as they come. NEVER SAY NEVER.
Peace Out,
Hyper-Spastic And Loving It :D
Friday, February 3, 2012
School: In Ke$ha's Words
"Maybe I need some rehab,
Or maybe just need some sleep
I've got a sick obsession,
I'm seeing it in my dreams
I'm making those desperate calls
I'm staying up all night hoping,
Hit my head against the walls"
Some of you may read those lyrics and go, "Whaaaa--? How is Ke$ha relevant to school?" and some may worry that I actually enjoy Ke$ha's music!
First, let me clarify....Ke$ha is an absolute freak. She definitely should be in rehab, and no one knows why she's crushin' on Mick Jagger and dudes with beards. (<--No offense to guys with beards, of course.)
Now let me return to my original point. While Ke$ha really is completely irrelevant to Linear Algebra, Calculus, Anatomy and Physiology, History and all of that nonsense...she may have hit on something...(other than the wall that is.)
"Maybe I need some rehab" --> After a full week of overwhelming homework loads, I always feel slightly like maybe I should be locked up and receive some serious help. Am I alone here??? I think not.
"Or maybe just need some sleep" --> What high school or college aged student is not in major need of sleep?? I rarely get to bed before midnight and I know that there are those who frequently are required to pull all-nighters.
"I've got a sick obsession" --> At first you might be thinking, "Umm...no...not even close." So you might not be obsessed with it, BUT, there's the slight obsession "work, Work, WORK! Get 'er done!" No? YES!
"I'm seeing it in my dreams" --> Actually this has happened before. Not to me, you see, but it has happened to other students, ya understand.
"I'm making those desperate calls" --> Everyone has at least one friend who they call up desperately begging for help. There are those who call their teachers, frantically pleading for mercy. Desperation? I think YES!
"I'm staying up all night hoping" --> Yes, hoping that next week won't be so BAD! And this also ties back into the whole "need some sleep" line at the beginning.
"Hitting my head against the walls" --> I don't necessarily recommend this as it results in a throbbing head ache and you still are required to do your homework. But this is something many students have been forced to resort to when things gets to be a little TOO much for the average teenager to handle.
And so you see, you no longer have to wonder what Ke$ha was REALLY singing about in that perverse and ridiculous song. I know you are very thankful that I have taken the time out of my busy day to draw these connections and conclusions out for you...well, you're welcome. Any time.
Be good. Hate on Ke$ha. And always do your homework...apparently it's worth it in the long run.
Peace Out,
School/Ke$ha Hata'
Or maybe just need some sleep
I've got a sick obsession,
I'm seeing it in my dreams
I'm making those desperate calls
I'm staying up all night hoping,
Hit my head against the walls"
Some of you may read those lyrics and go, "Whaaaa--? How is Ke$ha relevant to school?" and some may worry that I actually enjoy Ke$ha's music!
First, let me clarify....Ke$ha is an absolute freak. She definitely should be in rehab, and no one knows why she's crushin' on Mick Jagger and dudes with beards. (<--No offense to guys with beards, of course.)
Now let me return to my original point. While Ke$ha really is completely irrelevant to Linear Algebra, Calculus, Anatomy and Physiology, History and all of that nonsense...she may have hit on something...(other than the wall that is.)
"Maybe I need some rehab" --> After a full week of overwhelming homework loads, I always feel slightly like maybe I should be locked up and receive some serious help. Am I alone here??? I think not.
"Or maybe just need some sleep" --> What high school or college aged student is not in major need of sleep?? I rarely get to bed before midnight and I know that there are those who frequently are required to pull all-nighters.
"I've got a sick obsession" --> At first you might be thinking, "Umm...no...not even close." So you might not be obsessed with it, BUT, there's the slight obsession "work, Work, WORK! Get 'er done!" No? YES!
"I'm seeing it in my dreams" --> Actually this has happened before. Not to me, you see, but it has happened to other students, ya understand.
"I'm making those desperate calls" --> Everyone has at least one friend who they call up desperately begging for help. There are those who call their teachers, frantically pleading for mercy. Desperation? I think YES!
"I'm staying up all night hoping" --> Yes, hoping that next week won't be so BAD! And this also ties back into the whole "need some sleep" line at the beginning.
"Hitting my head against the walls" --> I don't necessarily recommend this as it results in a throbbing head ache and you still are required to do your homework. But this is something many students have been forced to resort to when things gets to be a little TOO much for the average teenager to handle.
And so you see, you no longer have to wonder what Ke$ha was REALLY singing about in that perverse and ridiculous song. I know you are very thankful that I have taken the time out of my busy day to draw these connections and conclusions out for you...well, you're welcome. Any time.
Be good. Hate on Ke$ha. And always do your homework...apparently it's worth it in the long run.
Peace Out,
School/Ke$ha Hata'
Friday, January 20, 2012
How To Have A Bad Day 101
I am here to share the secrets of 'how to have a bad day.' You may THINK you know....but you have no idea.
1) Wake up early.
Preferably sometime between 6 and 7 AM....also make sure that you went to bed extremely late the night before. That way, you are completely exhausted and even less able to handle awful happenstances.
2) Make sure it is winter outside.
This may not make any sense to you, dear reader, quite yet. But continue reading so that you might fully understand. Winter=5 degree weather, icy roads and is prime opportunity for car accidents and other such undesirable instances.
3) Have an extremely unproductive morning in terms of school.
This will cause tension in your life, it will also cause you to take a much needed break, which leads to my next point.
4) Leave the house.
Leave. Go out. Do something in a place which is not your home. Preferably some place surrounded by icy, dirt roads.
5) After procrastinating sufficiently, head home....OH! And get in a fender bender.
6) Make sure that the person driving in front of you is someone who is important to you.
7) Make sure the person driving in front of Important Person decides to slam on their brakes.
8) Make sure Important Person slams on their brakes and swerves out of way.
9) Make sure you slam on brakes, have no escape route as the two people in front of you are blocking the whole road.
10) Make sure ABS kicks in and makes it impossible to stop.
11) Make sure you go home and suffer from shock
To properly suffer from shock, hyperventilate and cry non-stop for approximately 2 hours.
12) Make sure you are a girl going through an emotionally trying period of time.
13) Attempt to do more school.
14) Become distraught.
15) Make sure your mother decides to host approximately 15 crazy little girls for an American Girl Doll group.
16) Make sure one of the few mothers present is the mother of the person you hit.
17) Make sure you feel immensely guilty.
This requires the person you hit to go into shock as well so that you might feel especially guilty. Also make sure your father is completely understanding...that is the final blow.
18) Fall down the stairs.
19) Break your iPod.
20) Be a beautiful disaster/hot mess...whatever you decide to label yourself.
And this, my dear reader, is how, as a high school student, you are to suffer a bad day. There are multiple levels of "Bad Day," this is a moderately bad day...so on a scale from 1-10 in terms of bad day?? This gets MAYBE a 6, more like a 5. Eventually, once I meet someone unfortunate enough to suffer a 10, I will share their story so that you might be more appreciative of your minuscule issues.
Be good. Have bad days. Smile anyway.
Peace Out,
Beautiful Mess
1) Wake up early.
Preferably sometime between 6 and 7 AM....also make sure that you went to bed extremely late the night before. That way, you are completely exhausted and even less able to handle awful happenstances.
2) Make sure it is winter outside.
This may not make any sense to you, dear reader, quite yet. But continue reading so that you might fully understand. Winter=5 degree weather, icy roads and is prime opportunity for car accidents and other such undesirable instances.
3) Have an extremely unproductive morning in terms of school.
This will cause tension in your life, it will also cause you to take a much needed break, which leads to my next point.
4) Leave the house.
Leave. Go out. Do something in a place which is not your home. Preferably some place surrounded by icy, dirt roads.
5) After procrastinating sufficiently, head home....OH! And get in a fender bender.
6) Make sure that the person driving in front of you is someone who is important to you.
7) Make sure the person driving in front of Important Person decides to slam on their brakes.
8) Make sure Important Person slams on their brakes and swerves out of way.
9) Make sure you slam on brakes, have no escape route as the two people in front of you are blocking the whole road.
10) Make sure ABS kicks in and makes it impossible to stop.
11) Make sure you go home and suffer from shock
To properly suffer from shock, hyperventilate and cry non-stop for approximately 2 hours.
12) Make sure you are a girl going through an emotionally trying period of time.
13) Attempt to do more school.
14) Become distraught.
15) Make sure your mother decides to host approximately 15 crazy little girls for an American Girl Doll group.
16) Make sure one of the few mothers present is the mother of the person you hit.
17) Make sure you feel immensely guilty.
This requires the person you hit to go into shock as well so that you might feel especially guilty. Also make sure your father is completely understanding...that is the final blow.
18) Fall down the stairs.
19) Break your iPod.
20) Be a beautiful disaster/hot mess...whatever you decide to label yourself.
And this, my dear reader, is how, as a high school student, you are to suffer a bad day. There are multiple levels of "Bad Day," this is a moderately bad day...so on a scale from 1-10 in terms of bad day?? This gets MAYBE a 6, more like a 5. Eventually, once I meet someone unfortunate enough to suffer a 10, I will share their story so that you might be more appreciative of your minuscule issues.
Be good. Have bad days. Smile anyway.
Peace Out,
Beautiful Mess
Sunday, January 1, 2012
A Football Family
Watching football with my family often times results in sore throats, bad language (or almost swearing....SHI-OOOOOOT!), and (quite frequently) injuries.
Once, while watching UofM play OSU....my 9-year-old sister started bawling when a touchdown call was overturned.
Today, while watching Referees make @$^#%*&^$%#(*@&#(*^#(*$%*&^@# calls against the Lions as they take on the Green Bay Packers....my mother has had to frequently stuff her fist in her mouth and I have had to remove a hysterical 12-year-old from the room more times than I care to recollect....
At this moment, said 9-year-old is screaming and threatening violence, my mother and father are proclaiming the game "finished," the 12-year-old is yelling to the 9-year-old "GET ON YOUR KNEES AND PRAY!!!!!" while others let their discontent known...me? I hold tightly to some thread of hope that we can utilize the last 1:10 left on the clock and end up with a win.
How often do you hear of a family with 7 girls and 1 boy (when the boy is 3 months old) being so intense about sports????? And you don't even want to KNOW what my family is like when they watch Hockey.
Now, I will leave and continue to watch this game and bite my nails and all that fun stuff.
Be good. Love football. And GO LIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Peace Out,
Sports Fan
Once, while watching UofM play OSU....my 9-year-old sister started bawling when a touchdown call was overturned.
Today, while watching Referees make @$^#%*&^$%#(*@&#(*^#(*$%*&^@# calls against the Lions as they take on the Green Bay Packers....my mother has had to frequently stuff her fist in her mouth and I have had to remove a hysterical 12-year-old from the room more times than I care to recollect....
At this moment, said 9-year-old is screaming and threatening violence, my mother and father are proclaiming the game "finished," the 12-year-old is yelling to the 9-year-old "GET ON YOUR KNEES AND PRAY!!!!!" while others let their discontent known...me? I hold tightly to some thread of hope that we can utilize the last 1:10 left on the clock and end up with a win.
How often do you hear of a family with 7 girls and 1 boy (when the boy is 3 months old) being so intense about sports????? And you don't even want to KNOW what my family is like when they watch Hockey.
Now, I will leave and continue to watch this game and bite my nails and all that fun stuff.
Be good. Love football. And GO LIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Peace Out,
Sports Fan
Monday, December 26, 2011
I LIIIIIIIIIIIVE!
In the great words of the irreplaceable Mushu...."I LIIIIIIIIIIIIIVEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Despite popular believe, I have neither died nor deserted you to an empty world devoid of my exuberant presence....well, actually that second part is slightly true....BUT IT WAS NOT MY FAULT! Unfortunately my computer decided to sabatoge me in the rudest way...and so I could not post anything.
Anywaayyyy, I'm gonna' go back to my life which is far more interesting than yours, I'm sure.
Be good. Eat food. And do something crazy every now and then.
Peace Out,
Not Quite Mushu But Close Enough
Despite popular believe, I have neither died nor deserted you to an empty world devoid of my exuberant presence....well, actually that second part is slightly true....BUT IT WAS NOT MY FAULT! Unfortunately my computer decided to sabatoge me in the rudest way...and so I could not post anything.
Anywaayyyy, I'm gonna' go back to my life which is far more interesting than yours, I'm sure.
Be good. Eat food. And do something crazy every now and then.
Peace Out,
Not Quite Mushu But Close Enough
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Waddle, Waddle, Waddle, QUACK!
OOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Only athletes can understand the pain I'm talking about.
After an all-day volleyball tournament, you might find something has changed. Namely, the way you walk. It's a mix between a disgruntled duck, a constipated penguin and a half-dead cat. If you sit down for more than 10 minutes straight, standing up is extremely painful. Then, as you (slowly and painfully) stagger to wherever you need to go, you drag your feet. You fear that your knees might give out on you. And sometimes (if you're lucky) your joints all start popping painfully and loudly.
And if you're REALLY lucky (like me) you even have a (non-cancerous?) bone tumor (? well...that's what they think it is at this point in time) in your right shin that acts up when you're too active...or even when you're NOT being active! YIPPEE!!! Now I have to go in and get a CT scan to see what THAT is all about, then there's the possibility of surgery.
Oh, and I forgot to mention "Priscilla," my damaged pinky finger. Priscilla truly is the icing on the cake. They say I've ruptured a tendon...which will eventually=SURGERY.
Now some of you might be thinking that I'm complaining...pshhh! I WOULD NEVER! Truth is, my injuries and diseases and what not keep life interesting. ;)
Be good. Take naps. And for heaven's sake...if you have an injury don't wait five months to get it checked out by the doctor! Ahemmm.
Peace Out,
Let's see if I can break a bone, now!
After an all-day volleyball tournament, you might find something has changed. Namely, the way you walk. It's a mix between a disgruntled duck, a constipated penguin and a half-dead cat. If you sit down for more than 10 minutes straight, standing up is extremely painful. Then, as you (slowly and painfully) stagger to wherever you need to go, you drag your feet. You fear that your knees might give out on you. And sometimes (if you're lucky) your joints all start popping painfully and loudly.
And if you're REALLY lucky (like me) you even have a (non-cancerous?) bone tumor (? well...that's what they think it is at this point in time) in your right shin that acts up when you're too active...or even when you're NOT being active! YIPPEE!!! Now I have to go in and get a CT scan to see what THAT is all about, then there's the possibility of surgery.
Oh, and I forgot to mention "Priscilla," my damaged pinky finger. Priscilla truly is the icing on the cake. They say I've ruptured a tendon...which will eventually=SURGERY.
Now some of you might be thinking that I'm complaining...pshhh! I WOULD NEVER! Truth is, my injuries and diseases and what not keep life interesting. ;)
Be good. Take naps. And for heaven's sake...if you have an injury don't wait five months to get it checked out by the doctor! Ahemmm.
Peace Out,
Let's see if I can break a bone, now!
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
HEY! HEY, GUYS! IT WORKS!
Fyi, I just got really excited (er, not really, but whatever) because finally my blog is letting me post again! Weiiiiird. Okay, now you all can start stalking me again :)
Cool beans
Be good. Stay chill. Keep it fresh.
Peace Out!
Cool beans
Be good. Stay chill. Keep it fresh.
Peace Out!
All About Me
Uhhhh...helk no. Weirdly enough, "me" is not a topic I'm a huge fan of. Don't get me wrong, I'll talk about "me" and "my life" and all that random chiz when I'm hanging out with my friends...but writing a speech all about me?! Wellllll this is going to stink...majorly. While I am interesting, amazing, gorgeous (the list goes on for far too long so I'll just stop there)...writing a SPEECH about ME is just a really unfortunate happenstance. Yeah, so I'll be standing up in front of four of my friends plus my teacher. But STILL, if people wanna' know who I am they should stop being lazy and figgur it out for themselves...tomorrow is going to be awkward as I stand up and say, "HI! This is my life!" Yaaaaaaay. This. Will. Stink. :-/
Be good. Eat candy. Be lazy.
Peace Out,
Me
Be good. Eat candy. Be lazy.
Peace Out,
Me
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Vacationnnn!
So basically....vacation is amazing. Add some coffee, good (if depressing:/) books, amazing music, lots of coffee, ICE CREAM, a little sunburn, a lotta beach, life on the channal...people, life is just amazing! Though I have to warn you....that is probably mainly the coffee talking right now. ;) No. Life is good. Even if my nose is red and I'm so tired I keep saying stupid things like: "I burned my sunlips." Whhaaaa--?? Yeah, I don't know either.
I just want to add one thing, look up this songwriter/singer: Greyson Chance. Well, it is at the moment. This kid's like 13 years old and he's pretty talented. Just saying. So yeah, look 'im up.
Anyway, I'm too tired to think up more ways to say nothing in the most possible words...so BYE!
Be good. Use sunscreen. And hang out with as many people as possible before school starts up again.
Peace Out,
Hyped Up On Coffee
I just want to add one thing, look up this songwriter/singer: Greyson Chance. Well, it is at the moment. This kid's like 13 years old and he's pretty talented. Just saying. So yeah, look 'im up.
Anyway, I'm too tired to think up more ways to say nothing in the most possible words...so BYE!
Be good. Use sunscreen. And hang out with as many people as possible before school starts up again.
Peace Out,
Hyped Up On Coffee
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